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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
6 yr old boy picks his fingers until they bleed.
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
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6 yr old boy picks his fingers until they bleed.
by Mr and Mrs Gill, Oct 09, 1999 12:00AM
Our 6 yr old biy, soon to be 7, sometimes returns from school and sporting activities with several of his finger tips picked to a point that a layer of skin is almost off and in some circumstances, they begin to bleed.
This dosent happen every day, but recently, more than not.
We struggle with this, but do not want to embarass our son.
We have thought of him wearing gloves or band-aids, but he picks off the band-aids..
We ask him why, and he says he dosent know and gets all upset and begins to cry........This tears our heart in two, as we love all our childern, we just dont know how to help him.
We struggle for some feedback, we have heard of hair pulling becoming compulsive, but never finger picking ...
Looking forward to your thoughts.
This dosent happen every day, but recently, more than not.
We struggle with this, but do not want to embarass our son.
We have thought of him wearing gloves or band-aids, but he picks off the band-aids..
We ask him why, and he says he dosent know and gets all upset and begins to cry........This tears our heart in two, as we love all our childern, we just dont know how to help him.
We struggle for some feedback, we have heard of hair pulling becoming compulsive, but never finger picking ...
Looking forward to your thoughts.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Oct 10, 1999 12:00AM
, Oct 10, 1999 12:00AM
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gill,
Yes, biting fingers can be a compulsive behavior, much as hair pulling can be. If you don't notice this behavior at home, it's probably the result of your son's anxiety around the situations you mentioned.
Keeping his nails cut short can be beneficial, because this makes it less likely he'll be able to actually grasp the nail and tear it (sometimes causing bleeding).
It would be helpful to check with his teacher and sports coaches/instructors and learn what they are observing about your son's participation and activity in the school and sports settings. Does he appear to be anxious? Do they notice the finger biting? In what specific contexts does it occur? How well is your son interacting with the other children?
You might try adopting an incentive program, whereby you reward your son from (as much as you can tell) refraining from biting (or at least injuring) his fingers. This approach, of course, doesn't alter the underlying anxiety that promotes the biting in the first place. It might be worthwhile to consult with a mental health professional re: the anxiety, to learn more about its nature and degree of severity. Then you'll be able to determine if a course of therapy, relaxation training, biofeedback, etc. might be useful.
Yes, biting fingers can be a compulsive behavior, much as hair pulling can be. If you don't notice this behavior at home, it's probably the result of your son's anxiety around the situations you mentioned.
Keeping his nails cut short can be beneficial, because this makes it less likely he'll be able to actually grasp the nail and tear it (sometimes causing bleeding).
It would be helpful to check with his teacher and sports coaches/instructors and learn what they are observing about your son's participation and activity in the school and sports settings. Does he appear to be anxious? Do they notice the finger biting? In what specific contexts does it occur? How well is your son interacting with the other children?
You might try adopting an incentive program, whereby you reward your son from (as much as you can tell) refraining from biting (or at least injuring) his fingers. This approach, of course, doesn't alter the underlying anxiety that promotes the biting in the first place. It might be worthwhile to consult with a mental health professional re: the anxiety, to learn more about its nature and degree of severity. Then you'll be able to determine if a course of therapy, relaxation training, biofeedback, etc. might be useful.
As for why I do it, I really haven't the slightest idea.
Good luck, and God bless.
My "finger peeling" problem is pretty recent, I am 32, but I cannot remember when exactly it became a problem. I must have peeled my fingers at other times in my life, but I never got "hooked" on it. I do not necessarily go to the extreme of blood, although sometimes the tearing does come to a point of pain and blood at which point I stop.
I do it when I am anxious yes, but also when enjoying a particulary good intense movie, when I am reading the want ads looking for a job (so the anxiety there is pretty obvious) and in general when in a nervous/excited mood.
The problem I have is that the tearing has made the skin around
the tips of my fingers tougher so when the skin has almost rejuvenated itself and there are no more ledges to pick (this is what sets my thumb subconsciously at picking at a tear) an open dry skin bubble will tease me to want to tear it and the process starts again.
I differentiate between two types of tearing, the "subconscious" tearing as I mentioned above and the "conscious" one where I actually "like, take pleasure in, enjoy" the tearing activity in the same manner, excuse the crudeness, that some people, like the act of popping a pimple.
Why exactly I feel pleasure, I have no clue, seems of a more innate nature than anything so I am not even bothering with it.
What did seem to work at times was quite a different approach to the nail cutting, I do the opposite, it seems that if my nails have thick nail polish on them I am less prone to tearing my fingers. But the nail polish cannot be chipped or else I will start peeling that too! But better to peel that than your fingers.!!
If anyone can make any comments to this or would have some suggestions on how to stop, or give me a name of what this is, whether a obsessive cumpulsive disorder or more of a psychological one due to stress?? Is this one of those self damaging conditions?
My "finger peeling" problem is pretty recent, I am 32, but I cannot remember when exactly it became a problem. I must have peeled my fingers at other times in my life, but I never got "hooked" on it. I do not necessarily go to the extreme of blood, although sometimes the tearing does come to a point of pain and blood at which point I stop.
I do it when I am anxious yes, but also when enjoying a particulary good intense movie, when I am reading the want ads looking for a job (so the anxiety there is pretty obvious) and in general when in a nervous/excited mood.
The problem I have is that the tearing has made the skin around
the tips of my fingers tougher so when the skin has almost rejuvenated itself and there are no more ledges to pick (this is what sets my thumb subconsciously at picking at a tear) an open dry skin bubble will tease me to want to tear it and the process starts again.
I differentiate between two types of tearing, the "subconscious" tearing as I mentioned above and the "conscious" one where I actually "like, take pleasure in, enjoy" the tearing activity in the same manner, excuse the crudeness, that some people, like the act of popping a pimple.
Why exactly I feel pleasure, I have no clue, seems of a more innate nature than anything so I am not even bothering with it.
What did seem to work at times was quite a different approach to the nail cutting, I do the opposite, it seems that if my nails have thick nail polish on them I am less prone to tearing my fingers. But the nail polish cannot be chipped or else I will start peeling that too! But better to peel that than your fingers.!!
If anyone can make any comments to this or would have some suggestions on how to stop, or give me a name of what this is, whether a obsessive cumpulsive disorder or more of a psychological one due to stress?? Is this one of those self damaging conditions? Thank you
My "finger peeling" problem is pretty recent, I am 32, but I cannot remember when exactly it became a problem. I must have peeled my fingers at other times in my life, but I never got "hooked" on it. I do not necessarily go to the extreme of blood, although sometimes the tearing does come to a point of pain and blood at which point I stop.
I do it when I am anxious yes, but also when enjoying a particulary good intense movie, when I am reading the want ads looking for a job (so the anxiety there is pretty obvious) and in general when in a nervous/excited mood.
The problem I have is that the tearing has made the skin around
the tips of my fingers